Arrival in Prague!

I have officially arrived in Prague and made it through two days of classes!

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I would have written this blog post earlier, but the past 6 days have been a total whirlwind. I can’t believe I’ve already been here about a week but at the same time it feels like I’ve done so much I must have been here a month.

A rundown of what I’ve been up to:

After some travel stress with a cancelled connecting flight I finally made it to Prague around 9:45 on Wednesday night! I’ll be sure to put pictures of our apartment up soon—I love it! It’s definitely on the smaller side, but my three roommates and me definitely lucked out because we all have our own bedrooms and they’re much bigger than I expected.

I’m already laughing thinking about the first night we arrived because I was so extremely jetlagged but we got a brief tour of our neighborhood including the two-floor supermarket/basic shopping store, Tesco. We went in to shop for some essentials and I was just standing under all the fluorescent lights, completely overwhelmed by all the products and decisions and the fact that I was in freaking Prague running on about 3 hours of sleep and I was just like “yeah…I’ll do this another day…” So I promptly went home and passed out

Still pretty jetlagged, we luckily had Thursday to ourselves and basically just wandered the city with our jaws dropped exclaiming “wooow” every five minutes.

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Friday was orientation where we got a brief tour of Anglo-American University. The University only has about 900 students (huge step down from UMass’ numbers!), about a third of which are CEA students. I’ve met some great people so far and I’m hoping I’ll start to recognize faces in a few weeks with it being so small .

More exploring Friday afternoon:

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This weekend consisted of checking out bars, meeting new people, clubbing until 4am, and TONS of walking (shoutout to my Jawbone Up bracelet and our 25,000 steps a day). I’ll write more about that in a separate post so I’m not babbling forever, but needless to say by Sunday I was exhausted, so I laid low for the afternoon and prepared for the fact that whole reason I came here was because I’m getting an education and I should probably look up where my classes are…

So I did and I’ve successfully had three out of four so far! Despite 3 hour classes definitely not being something I’m used to I think I like them and am hoping they won’t be too tough. On Wednesdays CEA offers free rock climbing lessons which is something I’ve never really done before so I’m going to take advantage of that starting tomorrow!

My head is full of 10000 things I could blab on forever about in this amazing amazing city but I’ll start with this update and write again soon!!

 

I’m Going to go Study Abroad and Come Back a Beautiful Magical Butterfly…Right?

Prague is gonna be like my awesome cocoon and I’m going to turn into a magical butterfly and love myself when I come home

That’s how my last session with my therapist went a couple weeks ago. I was being 110% sarcastic of course, but there was a very real point buried in there that needed to be talked about.

Tonight I leave for a semester abroad in the Czech Republic!

The entire week (or month, honestly) has been sort of like this:

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Between having to say goodbye to each of my friends going abroad ahead of me plus the ones staying back in college and taking a break with my boyfriend who left for his study abroad a week ago, it’s been a weird time. Being back at home to relax with my family and pack in New York has been nice, but now I’m just ready to get to Prague to start a looong awaited semester.

Along with the normal pre-departure jitters I’m honestly just full of so much excitement and eagerness and also a lot of determination.

It’s really easy to think that going abroad will solve all my problems…years and years of this addiction to self-destructive cycles–starving, binging, purging, self-harming, overexercising, restricting, over and over–and I would love to believe that leaving this country will unravel everything and finally make me feel like I’m fully recovered.

I’m not totally dismissing the idea. That’s the aim, of course. But self-love is hard as hell friends. And I’m in the habit of always thinking that a fresh start is what I need when really I can be making changes any time.

So I’m determined to stop being so determined. I don’t want to have this intense, dramatic outlook as I board the plane that this is where I’m going to find myself and this is where everything is just going to be amazing and this is where I’m going to finally love myself because I’ll realize I’m a wonderful beautiful creature. I want that to just happen without me even realizing its happening. I want it to sneak up on me while I’m busy meeting new people and exploring different cultures and perspectives and incredible sights.

So I’m keeping the goals general. Besides the obvious (make friends, don’t die, etc.) they are a little something like this:
-Focus on what makes me happy before anything or anyone else
-Be myself and be honest from the start

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be honest with myself, with my recovery, with the people I meet (“omg I LOVE Nickelback too, attractive boy!” no. i don’t. sry.)

-Get outside. hike a lot!

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^apparently this is in Prague. so this can be me if I can find a friend to wait right there while I run to this spot for a pic

-Say yes to things that scare me
except snowboarding and meth

-Treat my body kindly by doing yoga and meditation and eating good food

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-Treat my body like an absolute garbage can by staying up late drinking beer and eating pastries and dancing my face off at clubs

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because salads are good for my body but alcohol and chocolate is good for my soul

-Keep writing
-Forgive myself if there are days when I feel shitty when I should be having a good time, if I don’t do everything I was hoping to do, if the changes I want to see don’t come to me 

Sbohem, friends!
Next time you hear from me I will be in Prague :)

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Love,
Kate

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