Greetings and Happy Halloween!!

Tonight I will be dressing as this lovely lady:

Miss Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast At Tiffany’s

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It’s late afternoon and I still don’t have the costume entirely together/haven’t taken in & hemmed the dress that I found for the costume yet…
but that’s okay
(pictures later!)

It being the 31st also means that it’s the end of my vegan month!

but I kinda…sorta…have been cheating since Monday…

SHHH Let’s get to the review

1. How it went overall:

Aside from breakfast-food cravings that eventually led to my 5-day early downfall, I really didn’t feel like my diet had changed that much!

AND I discovered some awesome foods (see beloww!)

But I also didn’t really notice too much of a change in my energy or how I felt. I was certainly eating more carbs like I had intended , but it didn’t really feel like that was enhancing my workout performance or overall energy in my opinion…if anything, it started to really stress me out in the end

2. What did I eat?

Breakfast:

Oatmeal almost every morning or toast with banana and peanut butter. Occasionally I started having cereal (cornflakes or total) but aaah I missed yogurt!
which, speaking of:

I also tried this:

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It wasn’t bad! But the texture is pretty far from greek yogurt–not sure if there is anything else that really gets that thickness…

Snacks:

–were pretty much usually vegan for me anyways…fruit, peanut butter (always), rice cakes, hummus

Dinner:

Lots of veggies

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Curry Soup with tofu

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Tofu Stir fry:

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(I love my dining hall)

But HANG ON
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT LUNCH

So there is a student-run cafe on campus that serves fresh, homemade vegan and vegetarian dishes every weekday for cheap prices! A lot of my lunches have consisted of these delicious mush-and-kale mixes
The pictures do not do justice to how awesome this food is

like chickpea chana masala (buried under lots of kale…)

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or tofu pot pie (plus kale..)

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“chicken” nuggets and veggie risotto (featuring kale…):

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or some blurry mush known as autumn lentil cous cous salad:

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So yeah, I didn’t really make my meals like I had wanted, but at least I had someone to make me fantastic dishes themselves

Foods I missed:

1) Definitely yogurt…
2) Quest bars
3) Hard boiled eggs–which I never used to eat but weirdly enough was starting to have them a lot just before I went vegan

How ED felt about it:

Ehhh…not so good in the end

I’ve been keeping up with jogging pretty much every morning, so its GOOD that my body was getting more complex carbs to help fuel me
But carbs were always categorized as a major no when I was really struggling, and towards the end of the month it started to get harder to ignore that nagging feeling I was having about it, but I kept going (almost!) to the end and I really think it has helped me look differently at what I am putting in my body in healthy ways 

Why I broke it early:

well basically, it was Monday morning and I went to the gym at around 7 in the morning, had a great workout and a huge craving for eggs that I could not satisfy, and then this happened:

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yep, dropped it down an entire flight of steps just before going to breakfast
I was a little stressed aannd..

Next thing you know I’m giving up and angrily eating a plate of hard boiled eggs

But it was oh so satisfying.

SO, in the end:

I’m glad I did it, but…

I definitely won’t be going vegan any time soon! I am happy with eating vegetarian at school, but I honestly think there are a lot of healthy foods I was cutting out that I’m looking forward to getting back to
And I’m happy I did it because I think it really did help me with perspective as far as my ED goes

But now its back to Fage and eggs woohoooo!

(and maybe some Halloween candy??)

Happy Halloweekend ladies and gents

When I’m here:

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or here:

 

 

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or here:

 

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with these people, of course:


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It’s a little thing I like to call my happy place

  • What’s yours?

 

 

vegan-icon

***NOTE: THIS POST IS OVERDUE BY NEARLY TWO WEEKS. MANY MANY MANY APOLOGIES MY LIFE IS CRAY I AM THE WORST AAAAHHH***

Posted October 12th…meant for October 1st:
Starting today, I am cutting out all animal byproducts from my diet for a month–no meat, no eggs, no cheese, no milk

now wait wait WAAAIITTT

Before people start getting freaked out about restrictive eating and trigger-warnings, let me explain why I am doing this

I’ve always wanted to try a vegan diet since my friend declared that she was vegan in our freshman year of high school. Of course, I was one of those people that was thought “yeah, maybe I’ll try that…eventually” and sort of just beat around the bush. I tried vegetarianism for a bit, ended up giving up red meat completely but coming back to chicken, and then went back towards total vegetarianism once I got to college.

Of course, my eating disorder recovery meant I needed to focus on NOT restricting my food. It was not a good time to try diets that cut out a lot of everyday foods.

I fully support veganism and vegetarianism and mean no offense as far as animal rights activism goes.

But it is no secret that a lot of people suffering from eating disorders declare they are going vegan because it makes an easy excuse to restrict intake without being questioned 

I put the idea of veganism out of my head when I realized how much work I had to do in recovery. I would be doing it for all of the wrong reasons if I was cutting out things like pizza and ice cream not for general health or rights but because I was terrified of eating either of the two.

But I’ve come a very, very long way from there.

I don’t want to try being vegan for these next 30 days because I want to lose weight or restrict. I want to try it to see how a vegan diet would make me feel, to maybe push me to actually make more of those vegan recipes I always bookmark, and to help me try different foods and meals

((specifically, more carbohydrates! I’ve been taking a sports nutrition class this semester and I’m quickly realizing I don’t eat nearly enough carbs for the amount I exercise. More on that in another post…))

To be honest, I tend to basically eat vegan without realizing in my day-to-day life now, so I don’t feel like my meals will end up being too different each day (except for maybe breakfast)

I think blogging about it will also really, really help! I appreciate and welcome any support, comments or questions

Bloggers like Jordan and Emily know the danger of vegan diets when it comes to obsessive restriction and have learned to add the balance back into life. I do this vegan-lifestyle trial with them in mind

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and I’ve set some goals for myself to make sure I am doing this right!

1. My friends here know that I am doing this and know why

My friends also know that I have struggled with an eating disorder before. They will not monitor me, but I know they would step in if they saw I was getting obsessive about my food

2. I will focus on eating more (good) carbsgood-carbs-picture1

Pasta, rice, bread, cereal…
I have a lot of fear foods that stem from this (irrational!) fear of carbs. CARBS ARE SUPER IMPORTANT–especially with the exercises that I do like jogging. I’m hoping to start incorporating more whole grains into my diet

3. I will replace yogurt with coconut milk/almond milk yogurt

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This is a big deal for me, honestly. And something I really need to conquer as far as fear foods go. Despite peanut butter always being a safe food for me, I have a lot of trouble with other foods that boast a high fat content even when it is healthy fat. Coconut milk has amazing health benefits and lauric acid, which helps the immune system. Yay healthy food!

4. I will bake/cook!

Now that I have a convection oven in my dorm, I can actually bake some more vegan Pinterest goodies ;D

My friend also bough me nutritional yeast, which can be used to make vegan mac and cheese (definitely a fear food, definitely need to try it out)

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I can still challenge my ED and be vegan! :)

5. If it feels restrictive/misguided, I will stop

I’m not in a bound contract here. After all, I’m learning to trust myself that I can eat whatever I want whenever I want to find what really makes me feel the best. If veganism isn’t it, I need to stop

I’m excited to try out this new way of eating and let you guys know how its going! Updates soon to come!

 

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