When I’m here:
It’s a little thing I like to call my happy place
- What’s yours?
***NOTE: THIS POST IS OVERDUE BY NEARLY TWO WEEKS. MANY MANY MANY APOLOGIES MY LIFE IS CRAY I AM THE WORST AAAAHHH***
Posted October 12th…meant for October 1st:
Starting today, I am cutting out all animal byproducts from my diet for a month–no meat, no eggs, no cheese, no milk
now wait wait WAAAIITTT
Before people start getting freaked out about restrictive eating and trigger-warnings, let me explain why I am doing this
I’ve always wanted to try a vegan diet since my friend declared that she was vegan in our freshman year of high school. Of course, I was one of those people that was thought “yeah, maybe I’ll try that…eventually” and sort of just beat around the bush. I tried vegetarianism for a bit, ended up giving up red meat completely but coming back to chicken, and then went back towards total vegetarianism once I got to college.
Of course, my eating disorder recovery meant I needed to focus on NOT restricting my food. It was not a good time to try diets that cut out a lot of everyday foods.
I fully support veganism and vegetarianism and mean no offense as far as animal rights activism goes.
But it is no secret that a lot of people suffering from eating disorders declare they are going vegan because it makes an easy excuse to restrict intake without being questioned
I put the idea of veganism out of my head when I realized how much work I had to do in recovery. I would be doing it for all of the wrong reasons if I was cutting out things like pizza and ice cream not for general health or rights but because I was terrified of eating either of the two.
But I’ve come a very, very long way from there.
I don’t want to try being vegan for these next 30 days because I want to lose weight or restrict. I want to try it to see how a vegan diet would make me feel, to maybe push me to actually make more of those vegan recipes I always bookmark, and to help me try different foods and meals
((specifically, more carbohydrates! I’ve been taking a sports nutrition class this semester and I’m quickly realizing I don’t eat nearly enough carbs for the amount I exercise. More on that in another post…))
To be honest, I tend to basically eat vegan without realizing in my day-to-day life now, so I don’t feel like my meals will end up being too different each day (except for maybe breakfast)
I think blogging about it will also really, really help! I appreciate and welcome any support, comments or questions
Bloggers like Jordan and Emily know the danger of vegan diets when it comes to obsessive restriction and have learned to add the balance back into life. I do this vegan-lifestyle trial with them in mind
and I’ve set some goals for myself to make sure I am doing this right!
My friends also know that I have struggled with an eating disorder before. They will not monitor me, but I know they would step in if they saw I was getting obsessive about my food
Pasta, rice, bread, cereal…
I have a lot of fear foods that stem from this (irrational!) fear of carbs. CARBS ARE SUPER IMPORTANT–especially with the exercises that I do like jogging. I’m hoping to start incorporating more whole grains into my diet
This is a big deal for me, honestly. And something I really need to conquer as far as fear foods go. Despite peanut butter always being a safe food for me, I have a lot of trouble with other foods that boast a high fat content even when it is healthy fat. Coconut milk has amazing health benefits and lauric acid, which helps the immune system. Yay healthy food!
Now that I have a convection oven in my dorm, I can actually bake some more vegan Pinterest goodies ;D
My friend also bough me nutritional yeast, which can be used to make vegan mac and cheese (definitely a fear food, definitely need to try it out)
I can still challenge my ED and be vegan!
I’m not in a bound contract here. After all, I’m learning to trust myself that I can eat whatever I want whenever I want to find what really makes me feel the best. If veganism isn’t it, I need to stop
I’m excited to try out this new way of eating and let you guys know how its going! Updates soon to come!
Hard realization: being in college means you can’t spend 5 minutes arranging your food and bringing it into proper lighting for a photo in the solitude and comfort of your own home
No worries, I still took a few weird looks from my friends and managed to get some pics for you guys
Breakfasts, lunches and dinners tend to be a lot of the same here at UMass–I’ve been mixing it up a bit from last year, but there are still a lot of dining hall favorites that are my go-to
Here’s a lil bit of what my routine has been like:
I’ve been loving breakfast lately, and having plenty of it!
I’ve been getting in the habit of doing my workouts in the morning
(always fueling with some of a Quest Bar or Lara Bar, of course)
by the time real breakfast rolls around I’m super excited
My friend recently had to go gluten-free and has been going to the dining hall every morning because of their gluten-free options, so I’ve been tagging along instead of having breakfast in the dorm like I used to
So what is for breakfast nowadays?
With the occasional hard-boiled egg on toast (something I never used to eat until now) or fruit-and-yogurt switchup, I’ve been loving my big bowls of oatmeal–for more than the taste, actually. Oatmeal used to be a big fearfood of mine, which is a tad ridiculous because it’s a great, healthy breakfast.
I’m taking a Kinesiology course about sports nutrition this year and quickly learning that I am not getting nearly enough carbs. I’m happy to say that I’ve been trying to incorporate more in my breakfasts (post-workout) and I really think it has helped with curbing my cravings and keeping me full!
Lunch often looks like this:
There’s also this fab curry-chicken soup:
There’s the organic, vegan, student-run kitchen that has awesome kale-accompanied deliciousness like this tofu that tasted like chicken nuggets and pilaf:
There’s Siggi’s yogurt (possibly my new favorite yogurt) with some good ‘ol Vega Nutrition powder mixed in
and with the nice weather, the Sunday splurge in Amherst downtown may have happened more than once
Dinners often look a lot like lunch, with the occasional awesome dinner extravaganzas at my friend’s house off-campus.
A full kitchen combined with friends who love cooking means awesome dishes involving homemade bruschetta and farmers-market goods:
(I am spoiled)
Of course, I am a college student on a budget, and I can’t splurge for long
So when sad sights like this happen at the dorm:
We just have to improvise and…borrow some supplies from the dining hall…
Like just a little bit of fresh ground peanut butter…
or a wee bit of cereal…
I’ve been gettin’ my health-food on a lot of days with smoothies
Having a magic bullet in the dorm? Awesome.
Some chunky Questies
And these awesome Kombucha/Synergy drinks from the student market on campus
but while I’m eating well and feeling well, I’m also young and in college and sick of restricting so much.
Kale, tofu, and chia seeds aside
some nights look like this:
I think it goes without saying that the eats have been pretty good over here
I’m really, really proud of myself for letting loose a bit more (and honestly, for being able to admit that I have been)
College is good, life is good, food is good
Don’t deny yourself any of its awesomeness.
Hope everyone has a good Monday! Stay tuned for some more updates and a big announcement in the next day or two!